running around my living room screaming the lyrics to taste of ink.

nbd.

i haven’t wrote about my days in while.

they have sort of been pretty sporadic and impulsive. i’ve started to make better decisions y’all. i’m working on making myself happy. i’m trying not to depend on other people now. i’ve been having a good week that’s probably why i have this random self confidence going on. but whatever. 

i have a lot of things to look forward too for the next few weeks.

friday- yann tierson with jordan

may 3rd- my day of birth

may 4th- ambers prom

may 14th- LAST DAY OF COLLEGE

THEN SUMMER FREEDOM WOmP

why is it so difficult to get eric to hangout with me

why must he sleep and work so much.

sdjfkjasdhaskjdfsdfsa.

so my past few days have been pretty blurry.

i went camping.

it was really fun.

except for when at 5am these dudes decided to race their cars and be loud and shit.

today is the first day i’ve been sober since thursday morning.

what

have

i

become.

i’m not even mad anymore.

i smoked with kellyanne yesterday.

it was so funny. i had to drive her little car while she danced violently in the back seat, eric came over yesterday. we cuddled and slept and ate ice cream and chinese food. he’s so great.

today i went to church. then my grandfathers. i played with my step grandmothers grandkids (confusing i know). they are adorable. the one, amelia, shes a little ginger. her laugh lights up my day. 

okay i’m gonna sleep now.

so i was having a great two weeks and then one little thing ruined everything.

it wasn’t even a big deal but as usual i over reacted.

i’m so mad at myself.

i’m so pathetic.

worthless.

stupid.

fuck.

back to square one.

this is going to suck when i’m going to have to explain to this person that i want to die.

its always fun telling new people this.

crap.

So I haven’t gone into detail about my day from yesterday but it was pretty simple. I didn’t have work so I slept in. I got my hairs cut and supposedly I look like winona ryder from girl interrupted, but she’s obviously pretty and I’m not but whatevs. Anywho then I sorta forget what I did. I think I just pooped around my house until my dad got home. He turned 50 yesterday. We went to bonefish grill. I got bang bang shrimp tacos. Those are perfect. I actually had normal conversations with my parents. It was nice. I told them things that weren’t to personal. I don’t know it was nice. Then I went to see the hunger games with Kelly mike Todd and Jordan. Todd drove so we had to listen to Eminem all the way there…I know, awful…then everyone decided to spend all their money an movie theater food. Jordan dropped her drink 3 times. Highlight of the night. The movie was perfect. I really have to read the books now, I hate being that guy who sees the movie first then reads the book but ive had no time. AH. I hate school and work. Anyways then we were all super hyper. I got home at like 2 and a cute boy actually called me on the phone and we just talked..well mostly he talked and I intimated him cus he says weird things. So today. Today was perfect. Cara is home from school so I got to see her and Jordan (as usual, no complaints). Jordan brought us to the mall. We stuffed our faces with Nathan’s. Then we went to h&m and I bought a Hendrix shirt. We went to lord and Taylor and tried on prom dresses for shits. Jordan asked me to her prom :’). Going to prom with two girls this year and I’m not even in high school anymore…ain’t even mad. It was fun. Then we went home and ate dinner separately. Then a half hour later I picked them up and we went roller skating for my fathers birthday. There was hot guys who worked at the roller rink so mostly Jordan and I tried sexy dancing (well I tried, Jordan was successful) and followed the hottie around. Cara needed Jordan to hold her hand. It was cute. My dad would race me and fling me. Jordan and i decided we would go skating for working out. I think it’s a good idea. Then we went to tgi Fridays. I got boneless wings that hurt my tummy. My cousins were there. We caught up. Then I saw the devil. She came in with her other devil. The were both being evil and I bet those two girls tweeted about us or talked about us, I was mad then but now I don’t really care. I had a perfect day and I wasn’t stressed at all. This is what I’ve needed. Thank you cara and jordan. You guys literally all the only people I really care about from brick. I took a warm shower when I got home and used to much conditioner since I forgot how short my hair was. My shower sorta sucked too cus my tummy hurts and I kept doing nasty farts so my shower smelled. I can’t believe I said that. I hope no one reads this. Okay I gotta go to bed now cus I have work at 7.

bored.